A typical Friday it was, unlike other days I began my day, two hours before my usual schedule. The days of past still haunted me somewhere, but that day I decided to put an end to all the mess created in my life.
It all started three years before, in the initial days of my college. Just a family friend he was, until he came closer and occupied a space in my heart. Regular meetings at the class, Weekend Hangouts; all was good till the day I realised that somewhere our conversations, in his mind were getting stimulated as flirtations. And no matter how much I try that particular night come to my mind as a dawn of pessimism.
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The night where both of us were alone, locked in the stock chamber of our college, where everyone was enjoying the Annual celebration, I was sitting in a corner of the room unaware of the dirty tricks of his mind. Watching him coming towards my way, unaware of his hunger for the crux of my legs. He left, left me desolated at the place where some time before I was excited to go out only if someone came and unlocked us! They came but it was too late for me to pick up and assemble the scattered pieces, he broke! A bummer it was! My V-Card was taken away, by the man whom I considered kind and trustworthy enough. Little did I know that he had been that he had been nurturing the vicious thoughts of robbing me of everything I possessed; of my identity! His on fall on me was the turning point of my life which changed my perception towards ‘MEN’! I began doubting on everyone, I met him in family gatherings and other occasions but my guts to face him disappeared whenever he came near me. From being good friends to the worst enemies everything took an unexpected turn!
The next couple of years went by, filled with numbness and unbearable pain. Filled with immense tears I had never known I would experience ever in my life. I started cutting myself off away from everyone! I began spending all my time inside my room, the meals sent to me never taken. My life became an indescribable torturous hell because of a man whom I misunderstood as a good friend.
My parents took me to Psychiatrists, I had no courage left to tell them the truth, in all that time! I was afraid… What if they doubt my character and believe that arousing that monster was my mistake? I really had nothing to tell them.
One fine night I had a dream… I saw the group of people taking away everything from me, burning my home and the only thing which could be done was to take a step forward no matter what it takes, to stop them instead of hiding away. The dream broke with a scream, a scream that changed my perception towards the trauma of sexual abuse I experienced! Where the victim remained afraid of the society and the culprit was moving ahead as the Real Hero!
And that typical Friday I gathered the courage to tell my family everything, the pain was no more mine now, he was taken in the police custody. I found a place in the hearts of people as a brave heart and he found a place where he was meant to be… Behind The Bars!
The sense of stability I received after that, the amount of courage and strength I gained then was inexplicable! Throughout my healing journey which I am still continuing I realised that no one in the world can help you move ahead unless and until you realise that from the inside. They can only show you a way but to choose that path and walk on it, is your choice.
For now, I have finally ‘RECLAIMED’ myself beneath the smoggy skies, away from the subtle changes of life and now when I look in the mirror every day I see someone new because every day I tell my old version to reclaim from the pains of yesterday! Because there is nothing much stronger than a HUMAN HEART to assemble the shattered pieces of a skull held by the brain!