Not Everything You Want, You Get

Priyadarshini | 25-Nov-2016

Heavy drops of rain were dripping down the window panes of my house. I stood there, carefully examining each one rolling down so smoothly. It was a stormy day with grey clouds in the sky full of thunder and lightening. I was constantly staring outside with my eyes glued on those rain drops but my mind was somewhere else, deeply absorbed in the thoughts of someone special. Someone who’s very thought would not even take a second to bring a smile on my face. He was someone who was inseparable from my heart.

Not Everything you want, you get

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“Anusha….. Anusha... Where are you? Oh! Rain drops are coming inside “ says Aryan, as he shuts the windows. "Come! Prepare some tea.” It was just 4’o clock yet already dark. I went to the kitchen and quickly brought two cups of tea.” What are you brooding upon” he asks? “Nothing” I replied as I take a sip. It was almost two years that Aryan and I had been married but there was a sheer sense of awkwardness which prevailed between us. No! No! I am not complaining. It was not ‘him’ it was ‘I’. He was in fact, a very sweet and responsible person who would do anything to make to make his wife and family happy. He possessed all those qualities which normally a husband is ‘expected’ to have. He gave equal priority to office and home. On weekends, he would take me to parties, shopping and even plan a surprise dinner or vacation. He would never forget to say ‘I love you’ each morning after getting up from bed. He was very soft spoken and cared for me a lot. He worked as a travel agent at Jaipur and ‘earned quite well.’ I had all ‘the luxuries of the world’ at my feet. He seemed so perfect.

I was lucky that my parents chose Aryan for me. I honestly liked him and appreciated him a lot for the person he was. But deep down, my heart still sang the songs of Ankshit. I had tried thousands of times to forget him and bury him somewhere but I have miserably failed to do so infinite times. Ankshit was my first love. The moments spent with him are still fresh in my memory. The days spent with him were the happiest ones in my life and this is the reason why even today when I peep inside my heart I find ‘only him’.

All my worries would fly away when ankshit would just hold my hand. “Where are you lost today?” asks Aryan as he holds my hand. The reason why I was nostalgic that day was because it was ankshit’s birthday! And I had a reminiscence how I used to celebrate his birthday with lots of surprises and so much of fun!

“Let’s go out for a walk. You don’t seem in a good mood since morning. Maybe you will feel better” Aryan demanded.  I went with him without any objection.

We went along the silent, gloomy roads of the city. The rain had subsided by that time and the weather was clear. That was a moment of absolute silence. Aryan was holding my hand and I kept talking to myself. I realised not every girl is blessed to have a husband like Aryan. I must not neglect him. he deserves respect for the person he is. I felt guilty for not giving him the position in my life which he deserves, on the roads of my own agony, I just forgot that there is someone who cares for me so much and from that moment, I decided to pray him, like a god in my heart. I must enjoy his company rather lamenting upon someone who is not in my fate. Ankshit has and will always hold a special place in my heart but right now what I see  is a wonderful future with this amazing person, Aryan. I won’t let myself loose him.

Now, I want to live each moment with him and shower my love as much as I didn’t in the past two years. I looked at him and he was looking at me too. I hugged him and felt so tranquillized. I went closer to him and whispered those three magical words in his ears…’I LOVE YOU’

Not Everything you want you get

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P.S- Sometimes in life, we are too busy ruminating about our past or regretting about something which no longer makes any sense. Thus, we fail to see our wonderful present. We should live and love our present or else we lose it too!

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About the Author
Priyadarshini
Prajna Priyadarshini Pathak hails from Assam, India. She uses her pen name 'Priyadarshini' while writing. She is an undergraduate student pursuing her bachelor's in political science. She loves writing poems, short stories and articles. She is also a blogger and contributes regularly to her blog. Her blog contains mostly poems.