Darkness of Growing Up

Sakshi Jain | 15-Nov-2016

1. I miss being a child, that feeling of being pure, untouched by the worldly evils, far away from the rampant aggression that we are bound to face as we progress from our toddlerhood to being a grown up. 

'AN ADULT' that's what I wanted to be when I was a child, but today as I stand at the age of Adulthood, I realise being a child was the best I had ever been, that fear of darkness was way better than the fear of not being loved. I realise that ignoring motherly love and care in the process of making counterfeit friends was not worth it. 

I realise that playing Ludo was far better than playing with emotions and being stupid was still okay than being weak. The unconditional happiness has faded, what is left is a heart that long for love. I realise that this realisation is too late, for that child is long gone now. Gone with that fear of darkness, gone with the unconditional happiness. Our innocence is impeded by our greed and no matter how hard we try to bring back that child again, every time we try, a thing called Reality knocks in and says- "wake up! Life happened, you grew up."

Darkness of Growing Up

Image Source-https://goo.gl/9RQrWr and zozp.blogspot

2. Through the eyes that I last saw in tears,
I see the world, a world full of fears.
Fear of being detested,
Fear of being emotionally exhausted.
Fear of endless broken promises, 
Fear of several unfulfilled wishes.
Fear of feeling lonely again,
Fear of being a broken dame.
Through the eyes that I last saw in tears,
I see the world, a world full of fears.
Fear of falling in love again,
Fear of going back to the memory lane.
Fear of finding solace in someone's presence,
Fear of losing that joyous essence.
Fear of being in inevitable pain, 
Fear of Moving on all over again.
Through the eyes that I last saw in tears,
I see the world, a world full of fears.
Fear of not being what we used to be,
Fear of wanting the soul to be free.
Fear of walking alone amidst the mess,
Fear of loving the deep darkness.
Through the eyes that I last saw in tears,
I see the world, a world full of fears.

3. If only I knew that it was the last time I was meeting you, I would have shared your reflection in my eyes. 
If only I knew that it was the last time I was hugging you, I would have hugged you so hard, never wanting to let go.
If only I knew that It was the last time we were seeing each other, I would have never stopped staring at you.
If only I knew that it was the last time I was seeing that smile of you, I would have clicked a photograph of that natural wide smile to keep with me forever.
If only I knew that it was the last time I was holding your hand, I would have held it stronger and better.
If only I knew that it was the last time I was being with you, I would have lived my lifetime in that moment.
If only I knew.

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About the Author
Sakshi Jain
A college student who believes in the saying 'Write to express, not impress'. Playing with words is the thing I enjoy the most.