Coping up with mourning is most challenging task yet no other choice left for me, the agony of death may feel overwhelming. I am going throughout all kind strange experience and emotions. Crossing stage of grief: the anger, denial, guilt, profound sadness and acceptance this is the most difficult thing I ever across.
The agony of loved one's death will disrupt your physical health. The grief put me down in suffering the sleepless nights. I lost my appetite; I am barely eating, sometimes my family is feeding me forcefully. These are normal and significant reactions that the people suffer from the death of loved ones, there is no right or wrong way to mourn, but family members advised me a lot, but nothing is hitting me, and nothing is going inside my mind. They were like there are healthy ways to cope up with the pain,
They told me that time could heal my pain, but I know this is not about pain. Here, I am with deep wounds which my mother left for me I know one or another day and will learn to will with this open wound because nobody or time can heal this because it is such a deep wound from which I am bleeding inside. Finding new meaning for life is worthless when you lost whole meaning of the life. I lost my mother at the age when I was grooming to be a flower, but disaster happened it was not so easy to bear this wounds and pain and not easy to come out of this grief but time taught me a lot. No matter, how much I cry and refuse nothing is going to change. I am learning to live with this pain. I am learning how to survive this cruel world.
I couldn't be able to handle the situation; I am still finding it hard, I am so young to be this much sad. So my family planned to take me far away from this house, far away from this grief but was that possible to forget what happened? When I try to come over this agony even God was not on my side. I was sitting on the balcony feeling the cold wind and viewing the nature was bit peaceful. I was looking around I noticed a mother with her daughter, the little girl was sitting on her mother's lap, and her mother was making a pony for her daughter, and she was playing with her mother, it seems like the little girl is safe in her mother's arms and they were joyful.
Suddenly a bell rang of nearby school the small kids were coming out with their parents, the child's face was full of smiles when they look at their mother at the end of a tired, full day after the school. I was unable to rid of my eyes from the little girl. A mother was walking with her daughter, opposite of the school there was an ice cream van the little girl started to obstinate her mother for the ice cream, her mother looked at her daughter with the wide eyes and said you will get sick again so no ice cream for now. The little girl seems sad, and her eyes and that little lips went down with disappointment. Obviously, No mother can see her little angel sad, so the mother consoled her daughter and bought her ice cream. The little girl smiled brightly. The little angel pulls her mother Saree. Maa come here, her mother replied what happened? The little girl kissed her mother's cheeks, and her mother kissed back her daughter.
Maa the memories took me back to the time when I used to run back from school crying and coming to the home, you were always there for me, you comforted me, whipped my tears off, and you gave me warm hugs and told me, don't worry sweetheart everything will be alright. You are no more there to hug me, and you are not here to love and care me, who will comfort me Maa? You no more here to hug me*
But your words not only empowered me. Your words were brutally bruised in my chest. You made me the person who I am today, Maa I love you always, and I am missing you terribly.